So, it's the holiday season... and I have come home for Christmas for the first time in two years. It's been nice to be home, for the most part. But all the free time from work definitely makes me think a lot. I'm so busy working these days I really don't have much time to think... I'm not quite sure if that's a good or bad thing!
It's funny, the things that remind me I'm home. For one, I was locked out of my house today because I don't have keys to my own father's house. My youngest sister definitely scared the crap out of me while I was in the shower, just because she felt like it. My other sister found my eyeglasses for me because I lost them in the abyss of my sister's room... and I'm being chauffeured around because I don't have my own car. I can't seem to catch up to the time difference and I sleep terribly every night, which means I'm constantly tired... That is definitely NOT fun, at all.
I am enjoying spending time with my family, seeing my nephews street hockey game in the freezing cold, singing to some hot beats in the car with my sisters, watching tv with my mom, and sleeping at odd hours all the time.
But a big thing I've noticed has to be the "in and outs". I've always noticed this phenomenon, but now, more than ever, it's on my mind. The in and outs are people that I was once close to, at times REALLY close to, but now really aren't in my life too much. Some of these people, we try to meet up when I come back to the states, but... it doesn't always work. I think it doesn't work partly because we don't have enough time to make it work, but also because, frankly... I don't see the point.
I'm the kind of person that is highly aware of the transitional life I lead. I've chosen this life, for so many reasons. And I wouldn't give it up no matter who asked me to. This is the life I lead... I meet people along the way, and say see you later more times than I can count. The friends I had before I started this "living my life over seas" life, I thought would be in my life forever... but that really hasn't proven to be the case. They as well, have chosen their own life... Some have gotten married, some have moved elsewhere in the states and the world, and some have said goodbye instead of see you later. Whatever the reason is, time... distance... or by choice... we aren't a part of one another's lives anymore. And because of that, I don't see why I'd pretend like we are and spend my time driving to some far distance just to spend a few hours catching up... on the past x amount of months/years... when we never "catch up" during our every day sort've months... years.
I've changed... a lot... over this past year. I'm more of a realist now. And I'm more than okay with the above paragraph. I'm so happy with who I've become, and though I have a lot of stuff to continue to work on, I know that I'm going in an awesome direction. There are always hard times, there are always times where I get sad, but I always get past it. I know that deep down, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And I don't have a lot of free time on my hands... and because of that, I can't really spend my free time with the "in and outs" in my life... people who come in and out whenever they feel like...
I am quite guilty of this as well. I get wrapped up soooo much in my every day life in Bahrain, that I really have failed at authentic communication with the people I love. Like, real communication, not the "how are you? I'll msg you soon" kinda stuff. It's definitely something I want to work on within myself as well, to start being a better communicator with those I care about. Because I'm okay with only having a few real true friends than having like 20 people to come meet up with when I come back to the states. This is my New Year's resolution, of sorts.
I want to focus on my "forevers".... the people who I don't HAVE to speak to all the time, but have created an amazing foundation together so that I know our friendship will start right back up as soon as we meet again. The people I look forward to seeing SO much whenever our lives cross again. The people who I turn to when I need someone... the people who know the back stories of all the situations in my life and I just bring them up to speed when that skype/email date finally works... the people who make a point to see and talk to me when they can (even if it's not convenient for them, but because they want to, they make it work) and who I know I can always count on.
Because, something I've realized is this: I love living overseas. I love meeting new people and seeing how they fit into my life... and how we can help one another in amazing ways. I love absorbing the world's cultures like a sponge... because I'm learning. I'm constantly learning and loving and becoming a better person each day... and until that all stops, I'm still psyched to be on this adventure and I think my "forevers" are the only ones that are gonna stick with me while I stay on this adventure. I'm really happy.
So what do I want for Christmas? What do I REALLY want? My wish for Christmas is this: That everyone I love could find what makes them happy, and they LIVE that happiness every day. Just.like.I.do. <3 p="p">
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year everyone...
Here's to a new year, a new year of possibilities and of love... (and let's remember to be safe) Happy 2013 everyone! <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
It's funny, the things that remind me I'm home. For one, I was locked out of my house today because I don't have keys to my own father's house. My youngest sister definitely scared the crap out of me while I was in the shower, just because she felt like it. My other sister found my eyeglasses for me because I lost them in the abyss of my sister's room... and I'm being chauffeured around because I don't have my own car. I can't seem to catch up to the time difference and I sleep terribly every night, which means I'm constantly tired... That is definitely NOT fun, at all.
I am enjoying spending time with my family, seeing my nephews street hockey game in the freezing cold, singing to some hot beats in the car with my sisters, watching tv with my mom, and sleeping at odd hours all the time.
But a big thing I've noticed has to be the "in and outs". I've always noticed this phenomenon, but now, more than ever, it's on my mind. The in and outs are people that I was once close to, at times REALLY close to, but now really aren't in my life too much. Some of these people, we try to meet up when I come back to the states, but... it doesn't always work. I think it doesn't work partly because we don't have enough time to make it work, but also because, frankly... I don't see the point.
I'm the kind of person that is highly aware of the transitional life I lead. I've chosen this life, for so many reasons. And I wouldn't give it up no matter who asked me to. This is the life I lead... I meet people along the way, and say see you later more times than I can count. The friends I had before I started this "living my life over seas" life, I thought would be in my life forever... but that really hasn't proven to be the case. They as well, have chosen their own life... Some have gotten married, some have moved elsewhere in the states and the world, and some have said goodbye instead of see you later. Whatever the reason is, time... distance... or by choice... we aren't a part of one another's lives anymore. And because of that, I don't see why I'd pretend like we are and spend my time driving to some far distance just to spend a few hours catching up... on the past x amount of months/years... when we never "catch up" during our every day sort've months... years.
I've changed... a lot... over this past year. I'm more of a realist now. And I'm more than okay with the above paragraph. I'm so happy with who I've become, and though I have a lot of stuff to continue to work on, I know that I'm going in an awesome direction. There are always hard times, there are always times where I get sad, but I always get past it. I know that deep down, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And I don't have a lot of free time on my hands... and because of that, I can't really spend my free time with the "in and outs" in my life... people who come in and out whenever they feel like...
I am quite guilty of this as well. I get wrapped up soooo much in my every day life in Bahrain, that I really have failed at authentic communication with the people I love. Like, real communication, not the "how are you? I'll msg you soon" kinda stuff. It's definitely something I want to work on within myself as well, to start being a better communicator with those I care about. Because I'm okay with only having a few real true friends than having like 20 people to come meet up with when I come back to the states. This is my New Year's resolution, of sorts.
I want to focus on my "forevers".... the people who I don't HAVE to speak to all the time, but have created an amazing foundation together so that I know our friendship will start right back up as soon as we meet again. The people I look forward to seeing SO much whenever our lives cross again. The people who I turn to when I need someone... the people who know the back stories of all the situations in my life and I just bring them up to speed when that skype/email date finally works... the people who make a point to see and talk to me when they can (even if it's not convenient for them, but because they want to, they make it work) and who I know I can always count on.
Because, something I've realized is this: I love living overseas. I love meeting new people and seeing how they fit into my life... and how we can help one another in amazing ways. I love absorbing the world's cultures like a sponge... because I'm learning. I'm constantly learning and loving and becoming a better person each day... and until that all stops, I'm still psyched to be on this adventure and I think my "forevers" are the only ones that are gonna stick with me while I stay on this adventure. I'm really happy.
So what do I want for Christmas? What do I REALLY want? My wish for Christmas is this: That everyone I love could find what makes them happy, and they LIVE that happiness every day. Just.like.I.do. <3 p="p">
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year everyone...
Here's to a new year, a new year of possibilities and of love... (and let's remember to be safe) Happy 2013 everyone! <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
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